Pregnancy Nightmare #17: Mirror, mirror

It was difficult to see her and not be able to talk to her or let her know he’s alive. She was so close. He could almost feel her looking at him… though it was impossible, wasn’t it? She could not have any idea he was hiding behind the mirror wall. She could not have known that. Or could she? Her eyes looked directly on him… just for a split of a second. Then she looked away and she never looked back. Maybe it was because she knew. After all it would not be the first time she’s saved his life.

It was just a couple of days ago but to him, it felt like years… he was about to leave as an agent of the city government on a peace/reconnaissance mission. It was supposed to be his proving assignment. One that would ensure him the status he needed to start a family, a real job, and a life. He was ready. He knew the city state he was about to go into had a tyrant leader and there was a chance he might not be coming back alive. But at least, there was a slight chance for a privileged life in it for him, if he survived. He had to take it. There was no other choice.

As he was about to leave, he saw her. It was not the first time he did… he’s seen her before on some high-profile government and military functions... but of course, he never talked to her. He hasn’t even looked directly on her. Nobody has. But now, there she was - in front of him. He was in such a shock he couldn’t talk. It was then that he knew he fell in love and that she saved his life. She told him about the plan behind her father’s attempt to send him on a suicide war-starting mission... and he followed her into the shadows behind the tall, gray building... without thinking.

Just a couple of days later, there he was - hiding behind some mirror wall inside a tiny cubicle, trying to stay there long enough so that the government stopped looking for him – so badly. He knew they would never give up. The chip in his forearm was too important for them to let go. But if they found him now, they might have find out how he got away and he could not risk her life. Ever. Even if he had to stay in that damn room claustrophobic forever, hoping to get a glimpse of her hair as she walked by every week to follow her dad to a regiment meeting.

More days passed and the search party did not get any weaker. In fact, there were more and more people looking for him every day. His friends started disappearing and he hasn’t seen a familiar face walk the corridors in a long time… Now, they even started scanning the walls for organic matter – and taking them apart. They were getting closer. It was just a matter of time before they found him. He knew there was nothing else to do now. He had to do it… for himself and for her.

It didn’t take long. Soon he was ready. The computer terminal was easy to hack and the overload has already started. He could feel the heat building up. Maybe he just imagined it… maybe he didn’t. But he knew it was coming. The glass started to feel really hot. It made a weird hissing sound as it started to move. Just as he was about to close his eyes, he saw her. For the last time in his life, he saw those beautiful dark blue eyes looking directly at him. She knew what was going to happen. The guards knew it too. They were trying to stop it. They tried to run away. It was no use. She just stood there, motionless and quiet. She smiled. He did too. Then the glass shattered, the heat exploded into a giant fire storm… and it was over. They won.

Pregnancy Nightmare #16: NYC Health Crisis

The streets of NYC have never been so empty. It was a depressing sight. Garbage was lying around even more than usual, all of the cars were broken into and abandoned, and there were almost no people anywhere in sight. If you actually met someone, he was looking the other way and quickly changed direction. The city was gray. The sky was even grayer. It was raining. Again. You could not even remember the last time you saw sunshine… or someone smiling.

As you saw a stranger passing by, you decided to follow him. It was an old man with almost no hair. He had a black hat and both his hands were hidden in the pockets of his long, brown coat. You followed him hastily as he looked down on his feet and disappeared around the corner. There it was - a big, dilapidated building with a big red cross and a sign: health services. There were dozens, maybe hundreds of people silently standing in the line in front of the building. They did not talk, they did not even look at each other. They ignored you as you approached them - like if you weren’t even there.

You went inside. The building was dark, damp, and dirty. People in white coats were hurrying down the corridors, carrying cases with files and syringes. You could hear only the dull sounds of their fast footsteps echoing the hallways. You could hear just the steps, the clinging of the instruments, and the water dropping from the ceiling… no voices, no people.

Then you saw a little girl in a red dress hiding something under her shirt. You didn’t get a good glimpse. It could have been anything. And before you had a chance to look closer, she noticed you. She looked up at you with her sad, empty dark eyes and left.

You noticed a nurse was coming your way. She was carrying a tray with sharp medical instruments and some glass bottles with a clear liquid. You tried to talk to her but she didn’t pay any attention. You grabbed her arm. Her skin was soft and unnaturally cold. She stopped and looked at you like you were the first person who has ever touched her.

You tried to ask her what was going on. You could see the disbelief in her eyes… how come you don’t know? How come you don’t have the same problem as everybody else? How come your body is not experiencing any changes? Everybody’s was… People had different problems – anatomical abnormalities, skin anomalies, you name it… and they all wanted a cure – at first. Then they started to settle for different ways of masking the symptoms. And now? Now, they just wanted to feel someone did not loath them. So, the nurses gave them placebos and bandages and sent them on their way. Every day. The next day, they were back. There was nothing else left to do. It was not a disease, it was a natural process of change. But people chose to ignore that fact and kept hoping for a cure. She looked at you one more time and disappeared in one of the hallways behind you. You never felt so alone. You stood in the dark hallway and the only thing you could do was to listen to the drops of water coming down behind you. Drop. Drop. Drop.

Pregnancy nightmare #15: Apocalypse Now

We heard a storm was coming. Normally we would not pay much attention but this storm was supposed to be different. Media said it was the biggest storm in 100 years, conspiracy geeks said it was the end of the world as we know it, and governments did not comment… we didn’t know what to make of it but decided to be on the safe side and take it seriously. So, we got ready… We closed the doors and windows with wooden planks and plastic sheets, put a little probe outside the window to warn us when the levels of sulfur in the air rise to alarming levels… and started gathering supplies to put under our king-size bed (which we moved to the lower floor, just to be safe). We had to make our lives livable under there for at least 3 days and we still needed enough space to fit our family – me, my husband, and two kids (who, coincidentally, were about 5 and 3 years old – just like they’re gonna be in 2012). So we gathered some food, blankets, flashlights, and poop bags and as soon as we were finished, the probe started beeping. We pulled it in, closed the window with some nails, and quickly hid under the bed.

“But shouldn’t we turn off the electricity as a whole,” asked my husband: “you know our luck… I bet we let the light on in a hallway and by the time the storm is over, our generator’s gonna be depleted.”

Indeed we did.

Luckily, we managed to get under the bed just in time. The last glance out of window revealed a huge, black and lightning-filled storm cloud that was quickly approaching us and destroying everything in its path. We hid under the bed, huddled together and felt the strong vibrations as the storm hit our house. It shook. Some windows broke. Glass shattered just next to us. The noise was overwhelming. We listened to the radio as the reporter talked about the storm. And then, just like that - it was over. All the noises stopped. We heard just the strong wind outside. And the radio went to static.

The winds, silent distant screams and roars lasted for three days. The hardest part was to keep Martin under the bed with us while trying to explain how one uses a poop bag. On the fourth day, we finally didn’t hear anything and the 3-day-long night seemed to be over. It was light outside. No cloud in sight. We went out.

Our eyes hurt from all the sunshine… and from the fact that our neighborhood was transformed from lush and green scenery into a desert-like wasteland. There were almost no houses left. All the trees were gone or destroyed by the storm. There was really little but the sand and dust… and a couple of survivors. We saw a small group of people in the distance. They seemed to be getting ready to strip some cars for parts… we carefully approached them and after listening to them for a some time, noticed, that they had no idea what they are doing – and why. We suggested that there was nothing left for us to do here. And since it was truly a wasteland, we needed to find a better place to live. So, we got together, stripped the cars for parts, gas and other supplies, loaded a big bus that was standing by, and left that damn city to look for survivors and places not hit by this mysterious volcano-like storm somewhere else… somewhere south and warm. Next stop – California.