Bekvarm, Applad, Avsik… what the frak?

Today was just like any other day… for the past week, or year, or so. We went furniture scouting. Scouting over, yet again. I don't know just how many furniture stores can there be left in the King county. Hopefully not many. Don't take me wrong, some of them are fun but the ones we saw today were a little sucky. And let's face it how big a difference can there really be between their chair and their chair? I'm gonna chew on them both without discrimination...

But to our exciting day... first store we saw had the famous lion-leg-furniture fetish, the second one was kind-a trendy but the chairs had price stickers for 4k or so, the third one was my favorite. It was owned and operated by a skinny Indian guy who obviously missed the 80s era and tried to compensate for his loss with tons and tons of highly polished furniture and huge butt-ugly sofas. And the last one? It looked so bad from the outside, we didn't even dare going in.

Overall, let my just say: Lords of Cobol - bless Ikea. Their furniture may be crappy, but at least they make good meatballs. And you learn a lot Swedish curse words while you're at it (seriously, what else would all these Detolfs, Ektorps, and Besta Enoms stand for?).

What's wrong with us?

I haven't written anything in a while but that isn't because nothing crazy, totally ridiculous, and unbelievably frakked-up has happened… it's more like 'cause so many crazy, totally ridiculous, and unbelievably frakked-up things did happen. First, our dog started pooping all over the apartment which resulted in my parents going crazy, dog trying to conceal it, and me not being able to crawl anymore anywhere. It sucked. Then she started to look all funny… her body was filled with huge blisters, her lip got so big she looked like a mean bulldog, and her neck had a gross ball under it. It was so ugly I thought we are taking her to the vet to put her down. But, she got some pills for it, allergy or whatever, and got a poop test for the poop. Well, it turned out she's full of tiny little parasites. So, even before my parents figured out how to get her to eat those two pills three times a day, she needed more pills. Yup, it was fun, kind-a gross, but fun.

Then, my parents took me to some Indian restaurant. Boy, am I glad I didn't eat that stuff. It smelled real nice and first, I was kind-a jealous but that went away real soon. Both mom and dad got really sick. I mean "really" sick. And dad was disabled even the next day, no matter how much I tried to get his mind off it by jumping on his stomach and trying to fit my Tylenol bottle into his nose.

I have just one small question and then I go. What is it here that makes my family so sick? My mom was throwing up like crazy, then the dog got blisters and parasites, and then both of my parents got poisoned. I mean, is it just karma compensating for everything that goes well in our lives or is Washington's air really so frakking clean in makes our New Jersian bodies collaps?!

And when's my turn?

Wanna go farming?

If you wanna buy a house, you want Vivian; whether you know it or not. First I thought she was a little hyper but it seems that hyperactivity is the best trait when it comes to real estate. Just so that you see where all this house-hunting mania came from: daddy said that if I am a good boy on the plane, he’s gonna buy me a house. And I figured, I’ll take him up on it.

So, he had to ask Microsoft for a realtor. We got one and she took us out today. First, it was kind-a scary. She had a you-re-never-gonna-get-a-good-house-in-this-price-range-anywhere-round-here speech, and while she was talking we were passing these dilapidated farmhouses from 18-hundreds. I was almost freaking out and screaming at daddy that I was only kidding ‘bout the house… but then, she made a sharp turn and took us to a great neighborhood to a new house with 3 bedrooms, a den, huge light kitchen and living room, 2 garages, 3 bathrooms and a space under the stairs that is so big, that Harry could have sublet if he lived with us. Damn cool. I especially loved my new suite with a corner bath. I just hope my parents can fit into the nursery. And that we can buy it. And that we will.