All pooped-out

Yeah, yeah, I should try writing my blog regularly but it seems much easier to write it on a day such as this one. It started last night. I fell asleep like any other day and then I was up in an hour and couldn't fall back asleep. Know what I mean? No matter how much you try, how much milk you drink, how many stupid thoughts you try not to have, how many farm animals you count… nothin'. Luckily, dad and I have an understanding of sorts and we spent the rest of the night hanging out Triangle club at GTA. And this morning I started cruisin'. And our dog started poopin'. We came back from the doctor (the finger's fine now - like I needed her to tell me that, I bit off them stitches more than two days ago), anyway, we got home and the crate and the dog were pooped all over. It was gross. And did you know that a dog can poop out of both ends? I am sorry to say, I saw it with my own eyes and it will haunt me for years to come. And now, it'll haunt you too. Aren't you glad you read my blog?

What's wrong with us?

I haven't written anything in a while but that isn't because nothing crazy, totally ridiculous, and unbelievably frakked-up has happened… it's more like 'cause so many crazy, totally ridiculous, and unbelievably frakked-up things did happen. First, our dog started pooping all over the apartment which resulted in my parents going crazy, dog trying to conceal it, and me not being able to crawl anymore anywhere. It sucked. Then she started to look all funny… her body was filled with huge blisters, her lip got so big she looked like a mean bulldog, and her neck had a gross ball under it. It was so ugly I thought we are taking her to the vet to put her down. But, she got some pills for it, allergy or whatever, and got a poop test for the poop. Well, it turned out she's full of tiny little parasites. So, even before my parents figured out how to get her to eat those two pills three times a day, she needed more pills. Yup, it was fun, kind-a gross, but fun.

Then, my parents took me to some Indian restaurant. Boy, am I glad I didn't eat that stuff. It smelled real nice and first, I was kind-a jealous but that went away real soon. Both mom and dad got really sick. I mean "really" sick. And dad was disabled even the next day, no matter how much I tried to get his mind off it by jumping on his stomach and trying to fit my Tylenol bottle into his nose.

I have just one small question and then I go. What is it here that makes my family so sick? My mom was throwing up like crazy, then the dog got blisters and parasites, and then both of my parents got poisoned. I mean, is it just karma compensating for everything that goes well in our lives or is Washington's air really so frakking clean in makes our New Jersian bodies collaps?!

And when's my turn?

The Spirit of Stars and Stripes

I was kind-a hoping that I will spend my first Independence Day watching channel 243's Will-Smith-knocking-down-an-alien marathon but it didn't really work out that way. Don't ask me why but my parents thought that it would be more fun to clean the whole apartment and read books. Don't even get me started. I mean… from what I remember grandma would be more than happy to help with the house overhaul and she's coming tomorrow. It ain't like it can't wait no more. And reading books on 4^th of July? Isn't it a little un-American? We should be watching baseball on TV, barbecuing hot dogs and hamburgers, and drinking diet coke floats… at least the dog got into the spirit of things. It would suck to be the only patriot in my family.

Quick Fix

I understand that our dog is being fixed today but I ain't sure what exactly is being fixed about her. It's not that she is so perfect… it's more like - there are so many issues I ain't sure where to start the fixing process. I really hope my folks made a good checklist for the doctor. Something like: Jumping on the bed. Check. Pulling on the leash. Check. Licking our adorable baby after his bath. Check. Not eating the smelly dry food. Check. Losing hair everywhere. Check. Sneezing. Check. Eating the cage bars. Check. Sniffing everyone's eyeballs. Check. And the list goes on… I just hope it will work out. But whether or not it fixes all these things, I must say I am really shocked, and impressed at the same time, that a surgery can fix any of this. I guess I will consider the career path in medicine after all.

Just like Elm street

Freddy Kruger would be so proud of us last night! We were missing just the water bed with a dead chick and those big hands with scissors on them to make the nightmare Hollywood-worthy. Judge for yourself… I couldn't fall asleep and when I finally did, the dog got sick. I mean, what do they put in a dog food anyway? It must be something really gross (no matter how organic it is) since she was throwing up like crazy. And when she finally felt better and I fell asleep again, I realized I was hungry and my stomach ached and then I was hungry again and I couldn't fall asleep till 5. And just as I was wide-awake, mom was not… I really thought she was to drop me... The good thing was that dad was the one who took care of changing me last night, otherwise who knows what would have happened. Certainly, nothing good. But even though the odds were against us, we survived - no matter how much fraked up we felt (and feel till now). Force be with us all (yeah, we watched the Star Wars III last night… hm, come to think of it, maybe the dog was not sick after eating that canned meat after all.)